It is so important to have a balance of love and discipline when raising our children.
If this is out of balance our children will suffer because of it. If there is only love without the discipline we will raise spoiled, entitled children who will not listen to us as parents, but will also not feel the need to listen to other authority figures. It is our job to allow our children to understand there are consequences to our actions.
On the other hand if we are too strong with the discipline, and weak on showing love we will raise angry children who do not feel loved. They will grow distant from us as they grow older.
Children understand fairness. They will notice if they feel you are unfair in your discipline, and they will not accept it internally to help them change. Isn’t that ultimately the goal? We want to discipline in a way that our children learn from their mistakes. It is not just to get out your frustrations. Everything is a teaching moment with children. You need to really consider what are you teaching them. Are you showing self-control? Are you showing them respect? Are you behaving in a way that they can look up to you and admire you.
This can happen with a balance of love and discipline.
Kids understand when they have messed up, and they can understand fair consequences. They also know if you love them, but don’t “like” them. Be willing to work on the relationship if you are struggling with this. Spend some quality time with this child, and build a much better relationship. You will see everything improve if you do this. Once you gain their respect everything will fall into place.
It truly is a balance.
Check out my book where I talk about this in more detail.
Our children deserve us figuring this out.